


bitter thoughts like stale coffee

by chromyrose



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Quadrant Confusion, References to Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 19:49:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/802535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chromyrose/pseuds/chromyrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It makes me long for my childish days of pouring over psychology texts, and diagnosing my chums of all matter of mental ailments,” Rose sighed wistfully, shutting her eyes. “It makes me wish that I was in some way capable of tending to my friends now as I once proudly imagined that I could.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	bitter thoughts like stale coffee

“I think I’ve come up with a good idea.”

Rose interrupted the silence, curling her body further against Kanaya’s on the old, alchemized bed. When Kanaya turned her head down, she met Rose’s eyes, pale violet and focused with sobriety, thankfully. Her fingers brushed through her matesprit’s straw-like hair, and she hummed. 

“Oh, I am sure you have.”

“My, Kanaya, was that sarcasm?”

“What?” Kanaya murmured, drawing her hand away in mild surprise. “No, of course it wasn’t. You know I have the utmost faith in your ability to plan, given that the bottle has been exiled.”

Rose sighed, and reached for Kanaya’s hand, pressing her palm to her shoulder. 

“I’ve been thinking about our little party, how we’ve all but dissolved into straight up madness. Some of us more than others, especially. We’re hardly in any condition to salvage the scraps of this game, much less to win it.” 

Kanaya frowned, “I do not know that I agree with you, not entirely. But, you are right that our collective and even individual mental states are teetering on the apex of insanity, about to take the plunge. Go on.”

“It makes me long for my childish days of pouring over psychology texts, and diagnosing my chums of all matter of mental ailments,” Rose sighed wistfully, shutting her eyes. “It makes me wish that I was in some way capable of tending to my friends now as I once proudly imagined that I could.”

“You probably could,” Kanaya reasoned, sliding her open palm along the length of Rose’s back, as far as her arm allowed. “You have a great deal of insight about people.”

Rose laughed callously, and shook her head against Kanaya’s collarbone. “No, no, Miss Maryam, I couldn’t. In fact, I’d like to wager that I’ve become the most unhinged of us all.”

Her self-deprecating tone did not escape Kanaya’s notice, even though Kanaya suspected she was making some attempt at restraining that bitterness. She shut her eyes tightly and sighed.

“Rose, please, you are not. What was this idea you had mentioned, then?”

“Perhaps, if I cannot be the therapist that elevates our morale and restores us to the state we need to be for the big reunion… you could.”

“What.”

Rose shifted, laying her head on the pillow beside Kanaya’s, looking at her eyes earnestly now. “You would be the perfect healer of sanities. You are thoughtful, poised, patient, understanding…”

“No.”

“But, Kanaya, consider it. We need someone like you. _I_ need someone like you.”

Kanaya shook her eyes, and turned away from Rose’s pleading gaze.

“You already have me,” she reminded her firmly. “As a matesprit. And this, being a human therapist, it sounds too much like moirallegiance for my likings, Rose.”

When she looked back, Rose’s eyes were dim. Before she could find something comforting to say, her matesprit cut in, “Yes, no, that’s right. Quadrants,” she hissed, as if the word had done her a personal injustice. 

“Rose…”

“I get it, Kanaya. It’s okay. Maybe I can go talk to Dave.”

“Dave is composing raps with his imaginary friend, Mr… Ollama?”

“Obama,” Rose corrected absently, wrapping her arm over her belly. “But if the idea of me unloading my issues onto you is so distressing, then.”

Kanaya huffed, “Do not guilt me.”

Rose did not answer. Moments that stretched on so long Kanaya nearly lost track of them came and passed, and Rose’s body did not budge, her breaths was barely audible. 

“…Rose?”

“It’s fine, Kanaya. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Kanaya said quickly, reaching for Rose’s shoulder. “Tell me what is on your mind?”

Silence fell again, this time just for seconds, before Rose spoke matter-of-factly. “I am going to disappoint you. Soon, I will be firmly drowned in my own sorrows. Please, don’t break up with me while I’m intoxicated.”

Kanaya wanted to doubt that Rose could ever push her that far, but the look in Rose’s eyes was wild and desperate, so she pulled her matesprit back into her bosom and nodded. 

“I promise.”


End file.
